It's counter-intuitive, but NOT reassuring your prospects will bring you more business.

BE COMFORTABLE, BUT DON'T COMFORT YOUR PROSPECTS.

What? How can you be comfortable without comforting people? And why should you behave this way? Because they need to feel comfortable with you, but if you comfort them, you are dissolving their need to work with you.

FIRST, be comfortable.

We all need our prospective clients to trust us. You know you can be trusted. But surprisingly, research shows that prospects see you as over 25% less trustworthy than you see yourself.

So you have to "up" your trust factor when you offer your services. There are numerous subtle ways to do this, both in person and on your site, but the most important is - be comfortable.

Remember that anxiety, like a virus, is catching. You can actually "infect" others with your own anxiety. So watch your comfort level.

If selling makes you uncomfortable, then don't sell. Casually mention your own results. Consult, advise, educate, and ask the right questions (more on those in another article.) The amygdala (the lizard brain) of your prospects picks up instantly how comfortable you really are. If you are comfortable - and this means, you are comfortable whether or not they do business with you - you will put your prospects at ease and they will allow themselves to trust you more. It lowers their anxiety thermostat.

SECOND, don't comfort them if you want them to buy.

But what about comforting your prospects? Saying things like, "Don't worry, everyone has that problem." Or "Most of my clients have the same issues." "Oh, that's easy to fix." "You're not alone. I've heard that so many times."

You don't want to do this. You're losing potential business if you do.

Why? Because when you reassure them., your prospects immediately feel less anxious, more at ease, and more comfortable. And research proves that this is not the state they are most likely to buy in.

Comforting prospects is a natural habit that many service professionals and others fall into. It's easy to want to reassure and relieve someone's anxiety.

But - that anxiety, if properly addressed and allowed to surface, is what will make them turn to you for a solution. However, YOU need to allow THEM to experience it.

So don't comfort your prospects. Listen, instead. Listen as hard as you can, because if they feel listened to, they will tell you their story. And in telling their story, they will re-experience their anxiety (which is why they sought you out in the first place!)

Allowing your prospects to re-experience the anxiety of their problem is the single biggest factor in getting them to turn to you as a solution.

So if you comfort that anxiety and don't allow it to surface, you may end up with "That sounds good, let me think about it."

If you reassure your prospects, you've just told them things aren't that bad, don't worry, they've got company, many people have the same problems.

Therefore, their anxiety goes back down. They don't have to address it just right now. And you might just have lost a good client or customer. Or you might have to work three times as hard to get them back to that point of focused interest.

Your prospects have a natural anxiety about their problems. That's why they're talking to you in the first place.

Allow that natural anxiety to bring your prospects to you on its own little tidal wave. Don't stop it. Encourage it. Listen to it. Make sure they know you understand every last bit of how it feels to them and what it's doing to their lives. (Even if you've heard it 100 times before.)

You are rejecting the immediate need to reassure your prospects for the long-term comfort of solving their problems and creating a loyal client or customer for life.

So, be comfortable, because people do business with people they like and are comfortable with.

But don't comfort. This is the secret of allowing others to sell themselves on you.

Copyright 2008 Ann Convery. All Rights Reserved.